Can my husband demand "droits de seigneur" on our estate?
January 202010
My husband has taken it apon himself to reintroduce the medeival practice of the lord having first conjugal rights over brides to be on his estate. Millie our pretty stable girl is getting married and Lord McFud is demanding to "gazump" her husband on their wedding night. Her future husband is a 20 stone rugbyman, and I fear McFud may not have thought this through. In what way should I intervene?
My mother always told me, if you can’t say anything nice, it’s best to keep your trap shut ! I wish others would adhere to this…………. ; )
How are you Lady F? Lord M is being a proper pain in ones behind lately is he not? Well, having seen a mere glimpse of your fine ankles, may I suggest you exercise said rights too? Have your self a bit of rugby rough as it were. Do be careful though, I hear rugby players have odd shaped balls. This could even stop Lord M getting a proper duffing up.
January 20th, 2010 at 9:06 am
Go back to your home planet and take McFud with you!!
References :
January 20th, 2010 at 9:26 am
My mother always told me, if you can’t say anything nice, it’s best to keep your trap shut ! I wish others would adhere to this…………. ; )
How are you Lady F? Lord M is being a proper pain in ones behind lately is he not? Well, having seen a mere glimpse of your fine ankles, may I suggest you exercise said rights too? Have your self a bit of rugby rough as it were. Do be careful though, I hear rugby players have odd shaped balls. This could even stop Lord M getting a proper duffing up.
References :
January 20th, 2010 at 10:02 am
me lady you must retaliate in kind , maybe you could at the village fête have a tent where you could sell your favors for Charity , I would gladly pay 2 shillings to sample a lady of quality.
References :
January 20th, 2010 at 10:16 am
My dear Lady F, i take it M’Lords life insurance is up to date ?
one could reap the rewards or simply take a bunch of celery and break each stem…i believe the sound is close to that of breaking human limbs? ..advise him as such and point out the grooms physical size….it may have the desired effect ???
if not …Pain is a mere sensation..and sensations are there to be enjoyed ??? tally ho x
References :
January 20th, 2010 at 10:36 am
My Lady; can you not take him out of the country for a while? My steam yacht lies at your convenience.
References :
January 20th, 2010 at 10:56 am
I’m so glad to hear that tradition isn’t dead, although I think Lord McFud may be when that ruffian gets his grubby paws on him. The only solution is for your husband to employ the services of a henchman they are essential in keeping disgruntled husbands at bay as well as general riff raff. He may have the use of Bongo for the weekend till he finds a suitable candidate. Tip top.
References :
January 20th, 2010 at 11:24 am
Although I can see that you may have some reservations about the introduction of of droit de seigneur, there is a simple solution to this – in fact there are two. The first option is to make sure that Delia Smith is invited to the bash. Get her to challenge rugger bugger to a drinking contest. After downing 22 pints of Old Tramp Killer, he’ll be in outer space and McFud can expect little challenge from him. The catering might be a bit squiffy but that’s a small price to pay. Alternatively, you might suggest to the newlywed husband that you desperately want to play a game of hide the sausage yourself. This should leave the path clear for McFud for at least an hour or so and arguably not an unpleasant diversion for yourself. As a bonus, you can later expect full praise and recognition as the dutiful wife….De Beers and Tiffany comes to mind .
References :